Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
