Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
