Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
