She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
