knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
