idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
