he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
