You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
