I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
