some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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