brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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