oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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