HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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