Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
