I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
