I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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