it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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