You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
