Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
