Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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