I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
