He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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