He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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