We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
