Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
