i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
