please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
