I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Randomize
