you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
