Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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