I wannas sexs uuuuu
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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