you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
