Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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