WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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