Plan B is the new Plan A
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I love you.
Bad choice
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
