It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
