yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
