After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
