Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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