dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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