...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
