Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's never too late to be topless.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
