i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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