Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
