:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
