You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
