Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
