my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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