I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
