wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
In other news, I just burned my penis
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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