So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
