smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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