Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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